She Is Set Apart Spotlight

S'ambrosia testimony

This week I did a guest post for the She Is Set Apart website about my personal testimony pre-Ray. Some of you may have heard about my “dirty” secret, but others may have no idea. Either way, I’ve put it out there again in hopes that it will be an encouragement to other women and teens out there, and to hopefully start a dialogue with anyone who needs help. When Shelley and I first did the book, I had so many women contacting me for help/advice, but with the mayhem of marriage and moving, I became focused on other things. Hopefully this blog post gets the conversations going again. I’m totally open and willing to talk even if your struggle is something not related to mine.

I’d also like to announce that this post is the beginning of a continued partnership with She Is Set Apart, as I’ll be writing a bi-weekly column on relationships from the perspective of a woman who was all about being single before a cat named Ray changed her mind. If you’re interested in keeping up with those posts, please check out the site and be sure to follow it.

Meanwhile, you can either click the picture above or click here to read my testimony.

Much love and many prayers, dear friends.


Is PMS a proper excuse for bad behavior?

There are usually three phases I go through when it’s “that time of the month.”

Phase 1 – Silent but deadly

I may be staring at the wall, but I’m keeping track of every single thing Ray does that annoys me. At some point, he’ll pay. Someone has to.

Phase 2 – Two strikes and I’m wild’n out

Once the cramps hit, game over. All the pent up anger comes out and so do the boxing gloves.

Phase 3 – The depression after the storm

As internal issues dwindle down in my body, the reality of how many times I wronged my husband becomes glaringly apparent and weeping is the only thing I know to do.

We’ve come to accept this as a normal part of life, but should it be? Should women get a free pass from being like Christ whenever that time of the month rolls around?

I think not.

So how do we stop the cycle? (pun intended)

  • When I met with my advisor for natural family planning, I learned that PMS isn’t supposed to be normal. Did you know that? If you have symptoms of PMS, it’s actually a sign that your progesterone levels might be too low. In that wise, I don’t know that it’s fair to excuse bad behavior when it’s caused by an issue that can be helped by drinking more soy milk, eating whole grains, or taking a supplement. Knowing this makes the issue more of our responsibility to take better care of bodies than an uncontrollable function of a women’s physical nature.
  • God knows our thoughts before we think them and every inner working of our frame, so when He tells us to be holy as He is holy, I don’t believe He makes an exception for menstruating women. So who are we to claim that the Spirit of God living within us isn’t powerful enough to overcome an issue within a body that He created?
  • You don’t lose your ability to reason. So when you find yourself holding a bone to your husband’s throat, stop for a minute and listen to that voice telling you it’s a bad idea. It’s always there. I think sometimes we’ve gotten so used to the “PMS excuse”, that dismissing  our conscience becomes the norm, but that doesn’t make it right.

Now I’m not saying that I have this down at all. My only response to Ray various times today was “Shut up,” but I am saying that for the rest of this week and from now on, I aim to make more of an effort to submit to the Spirit instead of just letting the mood swing take it’s course.

So what do you think? Anyone out there got any other tips or tricks to mastering this aspect of womanhood?